DISQUS

Unbreaded: Unbreaded | The Ultimate Sandwich Blog

  • BJN · 9 months ago
    Is a golf cart a car? It has four wheels. It has a motor. But I think we can all agree that it is no car. It is a cart. While the laws of physics would certainly allow me to drive my EZGO on the freeway, or conversely, my Volvo up the fairway, the rules of the road prove these endeavors ridiculous, and in fact prohibitive. True, both cars and carts find homes nestled beneath the comfortable confines of "vehicle," but that does not mean they are interchangeable.


    I'm all for progress. I believe women should have the vote. I believe children should not be forced to work more than a 50-hour week, plus Saturdays. And I have always been a staunch proponent of the legal consumption of spirits and libations. Please note, that I’ve been very candid regarding this last point.



    However, I will not sit idly by while you label every wrap, burrito and pancake-meat-egg-pancake concoction that comes down the pike with the name Sandwich. A sandwich requires two parallel, preferably square, pieces of bread to be separated by layered fillings including, but not limited to; peanut better, jelly, salami, cheese(s), lettuce, peppers, corned beef, meatball(s), bologna, tomato, banana, onion, bacon, pastrami, chips. Condiments and toasting are optional.



    Certain other configurations are permitted to be called sandwiches so long as particular qualifiers are employed. Only one piece of bread? That’s an open-faced sandwich. The bread is oblong and as long as your forearm? That’s a subway sandwich. Have you doubled the height by adding a third piece of bread? That, friend, is a club sandwich. Did you scoop a meat mortar between your horizontal bookends? Manwich.



    Since we, you and I, have spent time defining what a sandwich is, let us take just a moment to define what a sandwich is not. Meat and sour vegetable compotes between two oblong, connected pieces of bread is a hotdog, not a sandwich. Fried balls of spiced chickpeas, vegetables and mild yogurt sauce in a bread pocket is falafel, not a sandwich. A wrap, that bastard, is nothing more than a neutered, submissive and insipidly anglicized burrito.



    Which finally, Dear Reader, returns our attention to that culinary Puck that began this dissertation, the utilitarian burrito. The burrito will never let you down. The burrito is a warrior. The burrito has a surprisingly shapely silhouette. The burrito knows what you need, always says the right things and doesn’t hesitate to be just a little bit vulnerable.



    The burrito is, by choice, not a sandwich. It doesn’t need, nor does it want, to be a sandwich. Let us not waste more time with such folly! A burrito is no more a sandwich than a hamachi roll, and for that I am eternally grateful.



    We do not need, and dare I say that those of us who possess a modicum of sanity do not want each and every one of our food items to be a sandwich. Let us embrace our differences! Let us celebrate our varied tastes and indulge our rapacious appetites! Let us sing our gastronomic idiosyncrasies! I am large. I contain multitudes.



    A painted horse is not a zebra.

    Chew on that.
  • gregparadee · 9 months ago
    That may just be the greatest comment I have ever read. I don't think I have ever laughed and yet felt so educated at the same time.
  • Athena · 9 months ago
    BJN, you are my new hero.
  • Danielle · 9 months ago
    BJN, I like your tenacity. I have to correct one thing. Having grown up eating a lot of Middle Eastern food, a falafel is the fried, spiced ball of chickpeas and can be ordered by themselves. Yes, they are wonderful.


    I will admit to being offput the first time I heard a hotdog referred to as a sandwich, it just didn't seem right. A hotdog is just that, right? But it got me thinking out all the different 'food wrapped in bread' things out there, there are a lot, should we call them all individual items while a sandwich with all its variety of fixings can be called by one thing? I'm not sure. They were developed in all different cultures BUT for the same purpose- to hold food together and not get your hands messy. Should we be so prejudice as to say this thing from Mexico (or where ever) does not qualify because the bread is the wrong shape? Is it time to write a new word for all portable meals? Again I'm not sure, but as the world connects and we get used to having foods from different cultures as ordinary, society may decide for itself.
  • All the world's a sandwich · 9 months ago
    Many times I have put some stuff on a single piece of bread (thereby qualifying as an open-faced sandwich under BJN's taxonomy) and then folded the bread over for easy one-handed consumption. Did it then cease to be a sandwich? What if the ends touched? What if the bread was pliable enough that the ends could not only touch, but overlap? The line between a sandwich and a wrap is a blurry one indeed, and with today's slicing and folding technology, it will not be long before the distinction is lost entirely.


    So enjoy your simple black-and-white, sandwich-and-not-sandwich world while it lasts, for tomorrow may be too late.
  • bob · 9 months ago
    Sushi is a sandwich then - it's a handheld carbohydrate-bound concoction. Only rolls, of course.
  • Ryan · 9 months ago
    "The bread is oblong and as long as your forearm? That’s a subway sandwich."


    Is that what you think the sub is short for? Subway is a brand. It's a place where you can buy a crappy sandwich. A sub is a submarine sandwich because it looks like a submarine.
  • Jeff Vogel · 9 months ago
    @BJN Now that I’ve cooled off, I’d like to tell you a little story about a sandwich. It happens to be my very favorite Philadelphia sandwich, found under a billowing cloud of fragrant white smoke that rises among the skyscrapers along Market Street, and a shimmering steel food cart that is the domain of the Falafel Nazi (named after the Soup Nazi, not that other guy.)


    The cart is covered with vibrant green plants and decorated with cloves of fresh, tantalizing garlic. Strange disco-techno music played loud enough to hear down the block, despite the din of traffic. He only has 2 items for sale: a platter or a sandwich, either available with chicken or vegetarian.



    The grilled chicken and falafel sandwich comes on a fresh Greek pita, stuffed to the gills with made-fresh daily fillings and sauces (cous cous, red pepper sauce, shredded lettuce, chopped tomato, hot sauce, lots of Greek oregano-even some fresh grapes) and wrapped in foil in a cone to go.



    Now, if you want to call this guy’s sandwich “a wrap”, and tell him it’s not good enough to join your special submarine sandwich club, you go right ahead. You want to lay out a set of guidelines that qualify a bread as sandwich worthy, you go right ahead. But I embrace the man, and his sandwich. You say Wonder Bread, I say Lavash.



    What defines a sandwich is the absence of platter or bowl. It is handheld, packaged, portable, edible meal meant for consumption on-the-go. So does a burrito fulfill those criteria? Yes. Does a hot open face turkey "sandwich" smothered with mashed potatoes and gravy? No. That’s a platter. And have you ever had a sausage sandwich? Awful similar to the hot dog… hmmm?



    It seems that you define “sandwich” as a sub-genre of portable filing delivery devices, only those which meet your personal point of view. I say, slow down there pal.
  • matt · 9 months ago
    I would believe he meant a submarine sandwich. The two major theories of which have the naming coming from a restaurant in Boston which served lots of navy servicemen OR from a new yorker (a grocer) who named it after seeing the Holland submarine in a museum.
  • Jeff Vogel · 9 months ago
    @bob, re: the sushi. A hand-rolled cone or a full, uncut roll eaten by hand could be considered a sandwich, but traditional sliced sushi rolls eaten with chopsticks are definitely a platter.
  • Momo · 9 months ago
    "A wrap, that bastard, is nothing more than a neutered, submissive and insipidly anglicized burrito." @BJN


    Genius. This commenter is obviously a person of refinement and taste. The burrito is, IMHO, the perfect food, a gift from our neighbors to the south and honed to perfection in taquerias all over California. A wrap is leftovers rolled up in a tortilla.
  • EyeVeeDripz · 9 months ago
    Ok. I don't want to freak anyone out here.... but what if you took a burrito or wrap, and put it between two slices of bread. Then what the hell would you be eating??
  • BlitZ · 9 months ago
    Down with the evil wraps! All hail the mighty burrito!
  • wow youre fucking nerds. · 9 months ago
    this is the single gayes blog post ive ever read... and i work in gay porn.
  • Eric · 9 months ago
    You seem to be taking offense based on some perception that "sandwich" is a term defining quality in some respect, with you statements such as "guidelines that qualify a bread as sandwich worthy" and "it’s not good enough to join your special submarine sandwich club". Rather, it is simply a descriptor. If we lump more and more items under the umbrella of a single term, the term itself is rendered useless. By saying pie is a good thing, and ice cream is not pie, I make no slight to ice cream, I merely acknowledge their differences. When importing different food from different cultures, it simply makes sense to borrow their word instead of stretching the meanings of our own, even if the word in the original language isn't overly specific, but merely their version of "sandwich".
  • FilthyRichmond.com · 9 months ago
    Bread that's preferably square?


    You know nothing of sandwiches, sir.



    http://www.FilthyRichmond.com
  • Wormwood · 9 months ago
    My Google Fu is failing me, but I remember reading about a legal ruling a couple years back regarding a lawsuit between Taco Bell and Panera regarding a mall occupancy exclusivity contract. A Panera franchisee moved into a strip mall (read: no food court) with the agreement that no other "sandwich" shops be allowed to move in for a exclusivity period. The mall realtor a few months later leased a spot to Taco Bell, and Panera sued. The legal argument was that tacos and burrios were a kind of sandwich. Due to the wording of the Panera agreement, the judge ruled against them and the Taco Bell was permitted to stay.


    I do wonder what the wording of the lease agreement would be if Panera wanted the intended kind of first mover advantage again...
  • Wormwood · 9 months ago
    Ah, found something in a strange place...


    http://flexibleparenting.com/2006/11/sandwich-v...
  • Jeff Vogel · 9 months ago
    That Cornish pasty looks awesome, and for that matter, I think a stromboli could be considered a sandwich.
  • Jeff Vogel · 9 months ago
    Sandwich is a utilitarian word that covers all kinds of handheld meals. To call something a sandwich simply because it fits some guy's 3 arbitrary criteria is just crazy.
  • Name · 9 months ago
    One would be consuming a physical manifestation of God.
  • Ben Kessler · 9 months ago
    If you read the post above, you'll see that the Panera vs. Qdoba case is mentioned in the second paragraph.
  • Logan · 9 months ago
    A better question is, why expand the definition of sandwich? Would it mean anything either way to eaters if a wrap is a sandwich?
  • Wormwood · 9 months ago
    Sorry, I remembered the case as Taco Bell, so it didn't occur for me to follow that link...
  • j · 9 months ago
    lol... Jeff got his feelings hurt because someone articulate disagreed with him.


    His response wasn't based in reason or logic, but emotion. To disagree with Jeff Vogel, BJN would have to INSULT him by saying that his FAVORITE phillie sandwich wasn't good enough to join "the sandwich club." BJN was diplomatic and appropriate: his comment wasn't judgemental, just observational.



    Jeff, how can you write an article like this, ask for comments, and then harrass anyone who disagrees with you? If you didn't want to break your perfect world where everyone agreed that sandwhich was a universal, all-embracing term, then why broach the subject?



    P.S. Oreos aren't sandwiches, the orgasm you had on your tongue wasn't a sandwhich, and a burrito, no matter how consumed, is not a sandwich.



    Would a rose, by any other name, smell as sweet?
  • doesnt matter · 9 months ago
    Ice cream is a handheld meal. To call ice cream a sandwich simply because it fits some guy's (you) arbitrary criteria is just crazy.
  • Jeff Vogel · 9 months ago
    But an ice cream sandwich is a sandwich, right? Not so crazy to think of a cone in the same light.
  • doesnt matter · 9 months ago
    An ice cream sandwich is not a sandwich in the same way the Great Tit is not a giant breast. Just because it has it in the name does not make it so.


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Tit
  • Guest · 9 months ago
    "Having grown up eating a lot of Middle Eastern food, a falafel is the fried, spiced ball of chickpeas and can be ordered by themselves. Yes, they are wonderful."


    You are wonderful, Danielle, for beating me to the punch.
  • James · 9 months ago
    Does a slice of pizza count as a sandwich then? If not then what if you fold it in half, or put the cheese sides of two slices together? Come on, this is ridiculous.
  • Lon @ FoodMayhem · 9 months ago
    @BJN & @Jeff - Here's the thing, food is subjective, frankly it's art. And terminology varies by region. That said, we can look to history for some suggestions about all this. First of all, I have to say that while all the carts and shops near me in NYC sell falafel in pita as a sandwich, it is only to help as a reference. You see, pita, in one form of another has been baked and eaten with falafel since at least 1000 A.D. (documented). And the term 'sandwich' has only existed since 1762.


    Clearly it's possible to re-categorize food items. Perhaps the falafel in a pita combo was usurped by the sandwich grouping.



    But what about our original issue? Burritos? Well, they're a 20th century phenomena. Which means they could easily be within the category. However, if you digg deeper, there are sitings of meat wrapping in tortillas back to 1840. And non-Mexican groups were cooking and eating food with tortilla and tortilla variants all the way back to 16th century.



    So the family of tortillas, let's think about it as well. Tortilla means cake, and includes cake-like omelettes, with or without potatoes depending on where you go. It also includes arepas (corn cakes or cassava cakes).



    Arepas are eaten alone, topped with various items, or sliced open and eaten as a sandwich. Uh oh... I'm seeing overlap!



    So is an arepa a sandwich (open-face, or otherwise)? Sure.



    Let's dial back and look at the definition of a sandwich: (A) Two or more slices of bread or a split roll having a filling in between; (B) One slice of bread covered with food.



    Cripes.. "bread" dang! Corn cakes are not bread. Because the definition of bread: A usually baked and leavened food made of a mixture whose basic constituent is flour or meal. Hmm. corn meal, maybe arepas are bread? Although they're not 'usually' leavened. So they're usually not bread? This is up for interpretation.



    What about tortillas? Usually not bread too?



    Ready to have your mind blown? What about pizza? Oh no! Leaved bread with toppings. Yes, pizza is technically an open-faced sandwich. In fact, my wife (the main writer at FoodMayhem.com) was taught in culinary school exactly that: pizza is an open face sandwich. So is gyro (pita is leavened). And guess what, that makes falafel a sandwich too. (See I'm not just wandering here, we're getting somewhere).



    Hot dogs? Yep, sandwiches! Read the definition again. A sliced roll with filling. Joinkies.



    Burritos, well no leavened dough... there's only one slice of the "bread"-like part... and it's not sliced open and stuffed. I'm siding with the court. It does not meet (meat?) the definition.



    This was a fun trot through food history and definitions. I'm going to post this to our blog (www.FoodMayhem.com) with a track-back.
  • SGCP · 9 months ago
    Vogel, you sicken me.


    In my heart of hearts I KNOW a burrito is not a sandwich. Stop spreading such blasphemy!
  • mikesee · 9 months ago
    traditionally, sushi is eaten with the hands, therefore by your logic, NOT a platter but a sandwich.
  • Eric · 9 months ago
    A burrito is a type of sandwich. Same with a panini, a wrap, and a host of other delicious portable eats. A sandwich is really just a two tiered device. A filling and something holding that filling together.
  • Guymandude · 9 months ago
    Sandwich:Bread::Burrito:Tortilla


    Wraps are a fad.
  • Mike · 9 months ago
    A burrito is not a sandwich, a wrap is not a sandwich, a donair or giro is not a sandwich. A sandwich must be on either a bun or bread that has been cut from a loaf and can have ANYTHING in it. The contents of the bread do not matter, what defines a sandwich is the bread itself.


    If you opened a sandwich stand and tried selling burritos, people would be like "Dude! Where the F*** are your F***ing sandwiches you jack a**. I was promised a F***ing sandwich not a god damn burrito." The fact that people recognize a sandwich as a sandwich and a burrito as a burrito is proof enough that they are two completely different things.
  • Seb · 9 months ago
    In my quest for burrito-related-journalism i found this post and then read BJN's comment - it's made my week.


    Every day, sandwich vans come to our office. Every Thursday, we go to our local burrito van. I can whole-heartedly say that no matter how hard it tries, no sandwich ever, ever comes close to the mighty burrito.



    Having said that, I'm quite partial to quesadillas (also from the burrito van, not sandwich van). Again, definitely 1 (or 2) up from a sandwich, and probably on par with the burrito.



    So maybe it's not that we need to think about the definition of sandwich, but more the definition of burrito. If a sandwich van sells sandwiches, which are mediochre at best, but a burrito van sells food of an almost holy quality, then perhaps all amazingly tasty, good (and probably *un*holy) food should be under the burrito umbrella... (and the sandwich term should be reserved for, perhaps, bland (vegetarian) foods?)
  • Mr. Larry Jhonson · 9 months ago
    Why has no one posted any regards as to epistomology of the word sandwich? This question is paramount to deriving a reasonable response to this question in question. According to my memory and current research the word was popularised by the Earl of Sandwich over 400 years ago. The Earl is the namesake of this contraption; and in his intent lies the solution to our problem and it is in the context that I decree that our question be resolved. He wanted a means that would leave his hands clean while informily eating a meal. Therefore I pose this definition; If you hold an edible object (non liquid) for nor than 8 seconds and then set it down to shake some ones hand and thereupon there is any ambivalance as to the awkardness of the cleanliness of our hand, said object is not a sandwich. If there is no awkwardness than said object is a sandwich. Therefore a burrito is a sandwich.
  • Jeff Vogel · 9 months ago
    Interesting... Oreos are marketed as a sandwich cookie. And I am happy to engage in a discussion on any level about what constitutes a sandwich. My example simply illustrates that not all sandwiches are between two slices of bread.
  • dekz · 9 months ago
    awww shit, zing.
  • dekz · 9 months ago
    awww shit, zing.
  • Jeff Vogel · 9 months ago
    @Lon Thanks for getting involved with our little debate. Some really good FACTS there, really compliments our BS.


    Basically, in English, I believe the word "sandwich" can refer to the specific object: two slices of bread with fillings; and can also speak to a broader category of things that are served in a portable, handheld style in contrast to a platter with utensils. I am willing to admit that a burrito is always referred to as a burrito, and not as a sandwich.



    But to get a little too deep in my own minutiae, a sandwich can be a utilitarian word, a broad based category of things that have more common with each other than another group of things, platters.



    Sandwiches served on any bread share certain characteristics and personality traits: mobility, a certain hold-and-eat style and a focus on the bread as much as the fillings.



    For argument's sake, suppose I wanted a Mediterranean sandwich. It is traditionally served on a lavash or pita. Would I have to put the same fillings on a Kaiser roll for it to be considered a sandwich? No. The bread must be judged as symbiotic with the fillings. The sandwich only works if the bread and the filling are truly meant to be together.



    So I say a burrito, which no doubt was first invented when some guy wanted to take his beans and rice platter to go, is a sandwich, in that it was designed to be held together in a package and eaten.



    I would never ever ever order a burrito and expect to get a sandwich. That's ridiculous. But if you ask the question, is a burrito a type of sandwich? Is an elephant a type of mammal? Is a geranium a plant? The answer is yes.
  • Stomper · 9 months ago
    I am appalled by the conspiracy of silence. Why, oh why, is the mighty hamburger being ignored in this discussion?


    The hamburger meets all the criteria for most definitions of a sandwich. The bun is usually not square, but even the proponents of squared bread recognize that this is an optional feature. Does that mean the hamburger is a sandwich? NO! It is a HAMBURGER.



    A hamburger has its own name, its own cultural identity, and its own culinary history. Judging from the McDonald's commercials of my childhood, it even has its own traditional costumes.



    Hamburger aficionados must unite to resist the cultural imperialism of the sandwichistas.
  • Jeff Vogel · 9 months ago
    Check it out: a review of my very favorite sandwich/wrap just posted http://vendr.tv/video/christos/ Thanks @foobooz
  • Kyle · 9 months ago
    IOkay weird.


    I just had a Pastrami Burrito yesterday. It had pickles and mustard.



    I didn't feel like I was eating a burrito, but a nice clean sandwich.
  • Ben · 9 months ago
    Nice to see this topic finally getting some real attention. I did a post on it and concluded that burrito's and wraps are not sandwiches, but that pizza is, technically, an open faced sandwich.
    Check it out: http://www.simplysandwiches.net/2007/08/18/the-...
  • Ben · 9 months ago
    Wow, this site is pretty much a copy of mine, with glossier design. What's the deal guys?
  • emamd · 9 months ago
    agreed with Stomper and Academic.


    Calling a burrito a sandwich is simply another form of cultural imperialism.
  • Ryan Nedeff · 9 months ago
    A pizza is an open face sandwich? Interesting. Let's run with that for a second...


    If you take a piece of bread, cover it with toppings, you have an open face sandwich. If I take that same open face sandwich and fold it in half, does that make a sandwich?



    So, if I had a pizza, and folded it in half, would I have a pizza sandwich?



    If so, a Taco is also a sandwich.



    Now, if you properly make a burrito, aren’t you folding the ends of the tortilla over the toppings? Rather than arbitrarily just "rolling" it up? You start with an “open face sandwich,” which is the tortilla covered in toppings. You then fold the tortilla over the toppings.



    By sheer semantics, yes, a burrito could be a sandwich if made properly.



    But, it just feels so wrong to call it that.
  • Jack Pendarvis · 9 months ago
    Dear Stomper,
    "Hamburger" is short for "Hamburger sandwich." People don't say it anymore, but it's still there, hanging in the air, implied.

    Your friend,

    Jack
  • nayten · 8 months ago
    I think in the end, it's all in the eye of the beholder. Perhaps at this point in time, we might consider the sandwich a work of art-- that's certainly what the blog here implies. Different cultures around the city, country, and world have their own takes on the art form to share.


    Take music for example. We all have our own preferences for artists and genres, and the underlying reasons for enjoying them, event if they are not self-evident. Some might better appreciate the complexity and depth of more atmospheric music, say an Animal Collective, whereas others might enjoy the simplicity in structure of something classical, punk, or anything with a solid form. Fans of one style versus another might not even consider something like spoken word, rap, or polka music, while others might consider them the only true forms. I think the same idea applies here-- an outlandish sandwich idea might incorporate a wrap, tortilla, open-face, or even pancakes as mentioned, breaking form from the standard sandwich enclosures of wheat, white, and rye. The substance inside of either sandwich or music might be what some use to determine if it is truly what they expect from the art.



    Or maybe I'm just looking into this too much. Lunchtime.
  • Ben Greenberg · 8 months ago
    I just noticed that the photo above looks suspiciously like a wrap, not a burrito...
  • Chris Richards · 8 months ago
    Great topic, Mr. President.


    A burrito, much like a sandwich, is a delicious treat; however: a burrito is by no means a sandwich.



    By the standards of John Montagu, the fourth earl of sandwich, a sandwich is a meal that can be consumed WHILE playing cards without soiling the deck, table or wagers. A burrito creates a large margin of error within those regulations.



    Sandwich, used in verb form, would be the act of placing or positioning one element between two entities. A burrito, by definition, means small donkey.



    Further evidence can be seen in White City Shopping Ctr., LP v. PR Rests., LLC, 21 Mass. L. Rep. 565 (Mass. Super. Ct. 2006). This case clearly states that a sandwich "is not commonly understood to include burritos, tacos, and quesadillas, which are typically made with a single tortilla and stuffed with a choice filling of meat, rice, and beans."



    We can agree that sandwiches and burritos are wonderful food, much like how the people of Mexico and the people of England are both wonderful people. But a Mexican is not English and an English-person is not a Mexican. We can easily agree the two heritages share greatness but this does not automatically mean they share each other. The two are different and should be regarded as such. To act any differently would take away from both parties and their respective products: the sandwich and the burrito.



    The standards of a sandwich, defined by the Earl of Sandwich in the 18th century, do not constitute the standards of a burrito; which were not invented until the early 20th century. The dictionary definitions of both entities further separates them. A sandwich is defined as a mess-free meal where the main components are literally sandwiched by two containing elements. A burrito, like its name-sake, the donkey, may carry many great things inside of it but it is wrapped in a tortilla, not sandwiched by bread.